Working in a company where travel is a way of life, it didn’t take long for my co-workers to discover my secret to survival. I am of course speaking of my Airplane Action Pants. My prized pair of long and loose black jersey pants have gotten me through many a flight. That magic pair of pantalones acts as my super-powered mobile security blanket ready to spring into action in the off chance that our plane should go down with the possibility of escaping to a deserted island far less sketchy than the one featured on the television show Lost. Unlike my regular standby, good old fashion blue jeans, they will not restrict my range of motion when climbing over seats to reach the nearest emergency exit. Dive head first down the inflatable slide allowing my skirt to fly over my head? No thank you sir, I am a lady. I will glide to safety with my dignity in tact in my Airplane Action Pants thank you very much.
Once upon a time before my transformation into the high rolling jetsetter I am now, flying to such exotic locations as Tampa, Miami, and um, Tampa, I had never stepped foot on a mode of transportation larger than the family station wagon. It was around this time that I found my guru. As a devout disciple of Oprah, I watched the show religiously everyday through my high school and college years.
Life lessons from Oprah stick with me more than a decade later. From the goddess of daytime television I learned that when in the bathroom stall at an airport, put your purse between your feet. Thieves and scalawags are on the prowl just waiting to reach over the thin metal door, daring all non-Oprah-watching fools to use the purse hook. Oh, and never turn your back to the door as you approach the toilet. The thieves are watching your feet for the opportunity to reach under the door and grab your bag. There must have been other tips on the show about airport security (this was years prior to 9/11) but the bathroom purse thing is the only one that stuck with me. As you may have already guessed, it was an episode of the Lady O show on how to survive a plane crash that inspired my Airplane Action Pants. Again, I’m sure there were other perhaps even more helpful tips in that episode, but the part about wearing pants that are easy to move in is the only part I remember.
Oprah doesn’t just give me travel tips; she also guides my spending habits. I ran out and bought the first ever book club selection in hardback, Toni Morrison’s Song of Solomon (and read it three years later). When I got my first grown-up paycheck my first purchase was nice matching set of towels, just like Oprah. While shopping for my college dorm I told my mom that only 400 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets would suffice—and not just any 400 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets, they had to be the ones featured on Oprah’s favorite things list.
It’s been years now since I’ve watched the Oprah Winfrey show with any regularity but she still has an impact on my everyday life. The episode on accidental tragedies—horrific life-changing events that occurred all because someone wasn’t paying attention—scarred me enough for life that I now check the backseat of my car every morning to make sure I don’t accidentally leave the baby before I head into work. My memory of that episode is so strong that it makes the fact that I don’t have a baby an insignificant detail. Everyone at one point or another finds their guiding light and Oprah is mine. I’m not ashamed to admit it. You’re totally thinking now about what pants you’re going to wear on your next flight, aren’t you?
See you on the flip side,
Joy