Okay so when I was 15 I had 96 pictures of Michael Jackson on my wall.
“Thrillermania” was in full force. I was already hooked in from “Off the Wall” and therefore, a certifiable MJ super fan. This was before the internet age information explosion so I scoured magazines and the Sunday paper week after week and even the tiniest of pictures made the cut.
It is almost unfathomable to me just how huge Michael Jackson became. The impact he made on music, dance and entertaining is EPIC. (No pun intended on the mention of the lucky record label that released such gems as “Off the Wall” and “Thriller”) I mean Michael Jackson broke the color barrier on MTV. Michael Jackson was an R&B artist who crossed over to pop radio then became its King. Michael Jackson moonwalked across a stage and turned the world on its ear.
And for this, I can only admire and honor him for his art. Yeah, things got weird. But even then, I couldn’t bear to believe it. Instead, I chose to reflect on the path he was on. An incredibly famous and dynamic child star, he grew into an even bigger uber-celebrity when he was a young man. He had people constantly wanting him and grabbing for his attention and maybe he was never able to get grounded, to relax into his being. And as weird as things got, I always maintained the hope that he would be back, that he still had something in him. And maybe just maybe he would hook up with Quincy Jones once again and shoot another album straight to the moon.
I was a shy kid and used to hang in my room a lot. I had my roster of cassettes and my little boom box permanently in the play position. Music has always been my salvation and all these years later “Off the Wall” and “Thriller” are still in my steady rotation. And as I sit in disbelief, the same set of lyrics keep playing in my head. When I was 15, I thought Michael Jackson was singing them to me. Now that I’m 41 and know a whole lot better, I think maybe he was singing them to himself.
Lift your head up high
And scream out to the world
I know I am someone
And let the truth unfurl
No one can hurt you now
Because you know what’s true
Yes, I believe in me
So you believe in you
Help me sing it!
Ma ma se ma ma sa ma ma coo sa
Ma ma se ma ma sa ma ma coo sa….
R.I.P. MJ
-Carla