Me and the fashion industry have a long, embattled past. They keep coming up with crazy fashions only petite, bric-a-brack sized people look good in, and I keep telling them to stick it where the sun don’t shine. I am not a small woman. I am 5′9″. I have freakishly long legs. When I skate, I am constantly tripping people, and I can take up the width of most of the track with my leg span. My stride is VERY impressive. When I do lunges, I need more space than most people because my lateral motion is just too much. Skirts that hit most people’s thighs are minis on me.
So, with these freakishly long legs, why do I find it impossible to find a pair of jeans that I don’t have to roll up? My friend had a pair of jeans that no longer fit her, but were my size. I told her I would take them, and she warned me, “they’re a little long.”
“Long on you,” I thought. “Shorty.”
I put the jeans on, and they were so long, they covered my feet and hung out below my toes. What kind of person wears jeans this long? I could have skipped wearing shoes altogether.
I thought those jeans were a peculiarity, until I went jean shopping. I could not find a single pair in the store that was made for someone who does not wear 4 inch heels under them. Obviously, these designers don’t understand that chicks who wear jeans every day do not wear heels every day. ESPECIALLY THE REALLY TALL ONES. Seriously. I should not have to wear jeans marked “short.” Ever. For any reason. I am not short.
I am tall, and very happy with it. So please, fashion industry, for the love of Pete, will you please produce something normal people actually want? Something functional? Something that doesn’t require me to shove my rather large feet into an uncomfortable and unhealthy shoe, simply so I can wear a casual pair of jeans? Thank you in advance.
