Look out people..I’m feelin’ kind of pensive.

Four of my best friends in the world came for a visit this past weekend.  We did what you always do with those kind of friends that are more like family.  Meaning we showed off our families (an 8 year-old, a seven year-old, a 1 year-old and little 6 month old Rachel), ate like kings, drank copious amounts of beer (once the kids were safely tucked in at night) and stayed up entirely too late remembering good times and other dear friends.  Lots of laughs, lots of sentiment and the worst hangovers ever, compounded by 4 children who get up at 6 am no matter what time you went to bed the night before.

We manage these reunions once a year, usually during the spring/summer, or around Christmas.  With our expanding families it gets harder and harder to pull off, but we all miss each other too much and have gone through too much together not to make it happen.

Thing is…this year, after the empty beer bottles were rolled to the curb for recycling and we finally managed to get Rachel down for her first real nap all weekend, I started thinking a lot about those college and post-college days.  About the goals we had then and where we are now…and somehow I couldn’t help but think….are my best days behind me?

I feel like the same old Jill, but where I am is so different from where I thought I would be.  And don’t get me wrong, I still feel incredibly blessed, but never would I have guessed the twists and turns that life would bring to me.  I mean, at one point in my life my highest goal was to be on Broadway – and while I never quite made it there – I did manage to eek out a living in NYC on nothing but the merits of my voice, including some Off-Broadway.  But just the other day I was watching Chess: In Concert on “Great Performances” and thinking, “It feels like 100 years ago since I used to sing this stuff.”  I also never wanted kids and now there is this little person that I could never see my life without.

Maybe it’s just that lately I feel so grown up – I have a real job, I’m a homeowner, a wife, a mom. But does anyone else ever have that fear?  Like maybe the world might never feel as wide open to you again as it did in those college days?  Will I never have the opportunity to travel the world now?  Does being an “official” adult mean there is nothing left to discover? I know that can’t possibly be true and I’d love a little advice on getting past the feeling.   I’d love to know what you guys do to help you remember that life is always an adventure and that the best is yet to come…