Growing up I played every freaking sport imaginable: soccer and football in the Fall; basketball in the Winter; golf, tennis, and baseball in the Spring and Summer.  When I got to high school, it was cross country for a year, basketball for two, tennis for two, and golf for four.  Throughout college I played intramural softball, basketball, dodgeball, flag football, and more stupid dorm room competitions than you can imagine.

Now that I’m out of college and working, I don’t have as many opportunities to be competitive any more.  This means I need to find other outlets to satiate my competitive desire to challenge somebody for superiority.  I’m so far removed from legitimate competitive sports that I’m at the point where I’ll compete with anybody for anything, for any reason, at any time of the day.

Bags, Corntoss, Corn-Hole

Last year I went to visit my brother out in California and a guy in his apartment complex had a cornhole game set up in the front yard.  For those of you who aren’t familiar with this game, know that it is terribly addictive.  After five minutes I was hooked: here is a game full of camaraderie and competition where you can showcase your skills at throwing a bag full of dried corn at a piece of plywood 27 feet away.

About two months ago, I ordered a set on Ebay and now our weekends are forever changed.  I leave the boards and bags in my car at all times now just in case we’re ever in a place where we want to play.  We even brought the set out to Augusta with us for the Sixthman Sessions II, where Tyrone Wells and I managed to best Andy and Mike in an epic battle that spanned seven games and several hours.  Our Saturdays and Sundays now consist of six hours of playing this wonderful game down by the pool.  We’ve met half the neighbors because they’ve all wanted to play.  We’re now the life of the party wherever we go; maybe the best investment I’ve ever made.

Kickball

Last summer I decided to join the Vanderbilt Alumni Kickball team, expecting to have a little bit of fun and maybe meet some new people.  Instead, I ended up with scarred knees (from attempting too many diving catches), a busted arm from sliding into 2nd, and one day an entire front-side covered in mud for diving headfirst into home to score the winning run.  Some might say I took kickball too seriously; others, not serious enough.  Who am I to decide such things.

The Ring Game

This past year on Cayamo, we had the chance to visit the Soggy Dollar Bar on Jost Van Dyke, an island in the British Virgin Islands.  There is a small brass ring, hanging on a string that’s attached to a palm tree.  There’s also a small hook screwed into the tree, and the objective is to swing the ring so that it catches itself on the hook.

After watching a guy for a few tries, I spent the next 45 minutes swinging a brass ring at a hook on a tree and loving every minute of it.  My dad watched me for a minute then said, “I don’t know what’s worse: that I’m trying to figure out how to set this up at our house, or trying to think of a fun way to gamble on it.”  Hmmmm, I guess it’s genetic.

Office Basketball

There is a really fun Nerf hoop at the very end of the operations department here at Sixthman .  If you stand in the hallway, you have about 70 feet between you and the hoop.  In the past month, I’m 1 for 4,345, a shooting percentage of .023%.  I feel like Phillip Seymour Hoffman in “Along Came Polly.” RAINDANCE!

Moonbounce Time Trials

Two weekends ago, my friend Matt had a fundraiser party in Birmingham to benefit United Cerebral Palsy.  There was a live band, tricycle race, silent auction, and a moon bounce for the kids…which we noticed had a natural path from entrance to exit: through the bouncy posts, under the tunnel, in between the pillars, up the mountain, and then down the slide and back to the entrance.  Of course, this immediately became a competition.

After the first few unimpressive times were posted by other party goers, I decided it was time to go ALL OUT and win this thing.  A perfect entrance and tunnel crawl put me in the early lead; I could hear the roar from the crowd as they realized they were truly witnessing something special.  After scaling the ‘mountain’ and diving head first down the slide, I managed to crawl out the exit with a winning time of 12.23 seconds, a performance that would make any parent proud.  What did I win, you ask?  Pride and a great sense of accomplishment, which is greater than any trophy you might say (or you might not. Stop raining on my moonbounce time-trial parade, jerk).

Oh, and I also managed to win terrible burns up and down my arms from the plastic surface in the moon bounce.  I still maintain it was a good decision to go headfirst down the slide.

Am I alone in my ability to turn anything into a friendly competition? Whether it’s competing with myself on a golf course or in the gym, or with my buddies on a myriad of stupid games to pass the time, I am all about throwing some competition in there to spice things up.  Hell, I even learned a new game from the Gaelic Storm guys at the Braves Game last week that somehow left me 20 dollars lighter in the wallet.  Oh well, all in good fun.

Do you have any stupid competitions with your co-workers in the office?  Make up ridiculous games on the weekend with your buddies?  Any suggestions on more things to add to my repertoire?

-Steve