I invited my friends Tiffany, Marianne, and Brandy onto the Mayercraft Carrier (you may remember them from that time they scammed the Captain’s Party…), and in return I asked them to write me a blog about their experiences on MCC vs. TRB.  As a disclaimer, I didn’t pay them to say any of this.  They are just nice friends.  And that is why I invited them to join me.

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Greetings Sixthman world! Coming to you live from the Splendido Lido (yes, that’s what it is actually called), here are some highlights from our trip on board the Carnival Splendor thus far:

-One Splendid Evening: The VH1 Save The Music benefit onboard the ship the day before Mayercraft departed left us with two words: Open Bar. The only proper way to begin any Sixthman voyage is with shots in the Atrium. Done and done. The next two words of the night: Jordin Sparks. Say what you will about American Idol, but that girl is ridiculous. Move over, John Mayer. With her rendition of “I’m Gonna Find Another You,” Ms. Sparks just might steal this mighty cruise from under your mankini. Since learning from our Rock Boat family that this is a marathon and not a sprint, we called it a night with room service and pajamas to prepare for the next day’s festivities.

-Day One: Raise your hand if you knew that Carnival serves breakfast in the formal dining rooms. Neither did we. Pleasant discovery to begin the actual boarding day for Mayercraft Dos: Even Craftier. The MCC Boarding Day theme was “Wear your favorite Mayercraft Carrier Artist T-Shirt”…. Our favorite is Lauren Craig as can be seen below with our boarding shirts. She’s an artist in our mind… and that’s all that matters.

Mayercrafters, Lauren > Steve. No matter what shenanigans he has pulled with you all in the past year to convince you otherwise, Lauren is STILL > Steve.  Live it. Learn it. Repeat it. Spread it.

-Three thousand people observed from the Lido Deck as John Mayer took the stage in his tiny white shorts to welcome everyone to the “best 96 hours of your life.” Twelve- Time Sixthman Cruise Vet, and a personal fav of ours, David Ryan Harris, joined John for the Sail Away show as California disappeared in the distance.  DRH later rounded out day one with a killer set in a sweaty and packed El Morocco lounge. (We kind of love that guy.)

-Day Two. Let’s talk about pop trivia. In our Carnival Caper, Pop Trivia is boasted as information that would have been discussed on TMZ or in recent issues of US Weekly. When was the last time “Who’s The Boss?” was on TMZ? Oh wait. Never. Did we mention Lauren > Steve? Way to go on those questions from 1993, Steve. Didn’t know we’d have to visit the TV Guide archives to answer your inquiries. Ryan Shaw? You’re hilarious. You should probably write the questions next time as you’re counseling your favorite Hollywood baby, Bronx Mowgli Wentz.

Tonight was the first John Mayer headlining show. As we’re going to the Monday night show, we decide to hit up comedian James Smith instead. BEST. DECISION. EVER. He goes there. From Chris Brown to Michael Phelps, his thoughts on marriage and the Hudson River plane crash, Mr. Smith had us practically in tears. Well played, sir. By the way, he really appreciates stories about any of your friends’ trips to Australia. Throw in some photos as well.

Seeing as we have burned all our midnight oil out on The Rock Boat, Mayercraft rages on outside our cabin door right now as talks about this “tender” are occurring. Tomorrow we are “going” to Cabo San Lucas. Little do the passengers of the Mayercraft know that when TRB faithful are on board, the word “tender” exits the vocabulary because no one knows what that actually is. Lauren, no matter how many times you say it, we won’t believe it until we see it outside our window when waking up tomorrow morning. Lunch at 1:30? Sure. See you on the Lido Deck while Cabo passes on our right. Sammy Hagar says hello. (Lauren’s note: We did make it to Cabo afterall, suckers)

After we “port” tomorrow, we still have two days out at sea filled with debauchery, fantastic music, watching the Sixthman crew own every casino table possible, listening to Kappy make info announcements (James Smith also loves these), gaff tape wars, Lauren STILL being > Steve, and John Mayer getting his obligatory white boy dance on in the disco. Bring it on, Mayercraft.

P.S. It’s day three and we have yet to see Kappy sans clothing. What gives?

-Lauren, with special guests Tiff, MK, and drunken Brandy