I love my family. I am so fortunate that I am able to look forward to catching up with them at this time of year, instead of trying come up with crafty ways to get out of it. I especially like Christmas, since my sister and brother-in-law always make the trip the East coast to celebrate (they live in California). Mom and little sister round out the group, and we’re all very, very close. My immediate family has been through a lot together, as all families have, and we have the luxury of being completely comfortable and candid with one another. Or is it? 

Being able to be totally honest with one another – including poking fun at each of our shortcomings – seems nice. If anyone knows me for one minute, they know there’s not much I like better than a little sarcastic humor. And by a little, I mean a lot. But recently I realized that maybe it is not so nice for those who are on the receiving end of the fun-poking most of the time. One of my sisters confessed to me that her New Year’s resolution is to try to be less uptight. I was curious about her statement, so I asked “what made you decide on this?” Her answer was somewhat heartbreaking. She said, “I know you guys (the family) don’t like it (since we are relentless in making fun of her about it), so I’m going to try and change.” She had always laughed along when we cracked jokes about her over-planning, constant check-ins, and backseat driving. And the truth is, it’s what is endearing about her. It brings great balance into our otherwise way-too-laid back family. But we had all become so used to taking our jabs at her about it that we didn’t realize it was hurting her feelings all along.  

I guess the bottom line is, once you get so close to someone, you think you automatically know, or can sense, how they are feeling, but I’m realizing that is not the case at all. I’m going to try to remember to take a step back every now and again to make sure I’m not overlooking something as important as this. Its funny, it’s something I say and do in my work all the time, as I am sure most of us do. “I’m too close to it!” Sound familiar? Who knew it applied to personal relationships, too. (Not me, obviously.)

Sixthman becomes our replacement “family” about this time of year, since we spend more time together in a few short months than most families do in a lifetime. I hope I remember the valuable lesson I learned this holiday, and make it a point to apply it to my Sixthman family as well.