Cruise #3…let’s do this (Timeline style!)

Day 1 of the 2nd annual Ships and Dip III (yeah, try to work through that one.)

4:00PM – Lifeboat drill begins.

4:15PM – Lifeboat drill ends.

4:16PM – Everybody frantically runs back to the room to ditch their life jackets.

4:17PM – Everybody frantically runs up to the Lido Deck.  I haven’t seen people move this quickly since Pamplona (blogger’s note:  I’ve never actually seen the Running of the Bulls, but I imagine the people run really fast…the ones that make it anyway) Apparently some band named the Barenaked Ladies (henceforth referred to as BNL) was playing up there, and they’re quite popular with this crowd.  Who knew?

5:15PM – I scramble down to my room to grab my camera.

5:16PM – I wish I didn’t live on the first floor so far away from the Lido.

5:17PM – Quick break to replenish fluids.  Gotta stay hydrated.

5:18PM – Out of breath, I make it back up the 8 flights of stairs to the Lido Deck.

5:20PM – BNL takes the stage and plays for probably 95% of the guests onboard.  (I can only assume the other 5% got lost in this monstrosity of a cruise ship.  Lets hope they’ve since found their way).

6:20PM – I walk away absolutely amazed from my first BNL performance.  It was like watching a chorus in perfect unison, with the band as the conductors.  I think everybody in the crowd knew every word to every song, and sang them all loudly and proudly.  After seeing a guy jump naked into the pool at the pre-party, I knew I was in for a ridiculous cruise with some crazy Canucks and wild Americans, but I didn’t know they’d be doubling as BNL’s backup singers too.

10:30PM – After a few hours of actual work, I get to do the fun part of my job (actually the whole job is fun but some parts more so than others): make sure people are smiling, enjoying themselves, and then listen to some amazing music.  Tonight’s performance is another BNL performance for the alumni that came on last year’s cruise.

12:00PM – They continue to amaze me.  BNL just played a full set of requested songs.  Everybody in the audience put a song name in a bucket, the guys pulled them out one at a time, and played them immediately.  I’m pretty sure these next 5 days are going to kick ass.

1:00AM – Begin playing craps with Uncle Kappy and our accountant Brandon (B), both of whom I taught to play craps on the Rock Boat, and are now completely addicted.  Lauren (nicknamed “The L.C.,” our 4th partner in crime and craps) decided to take the night off from the tables.  She was greatly missed.

1:15AM – Realize that I should be charging money for these craps lessons I’m giving.

1:45AM – Almost fall over from laughing hysterically at B’s dice-throwing style.  Words cannot do it justice, it must be seen.  He is instantly the most famous person in the casino as everybody comes over to watch him roll.

2:00AM – Continue playing craps.

3:00AM – Continue to play craps.

3:30AM – They shut down the table, and I vow to never again play craps while under the influence of Uncle Kappy unless the L.C. is present.

4:00AM – Head up to the pizza kitchen/bar (re-dubbed the “Caligula Lounge” due to the odd placement of a pool directly in the middle of the place).

4:15AM – Laugh my ass off as Kappy challenges Zack, the banjo player from Oakhurst, to a game of jumbo chess (the board is built into the floor, and the pieces are 3 feet tall).

4:16AM – Zack beats Kappy in 4 moves.  Seriously. 4 moves.  It was like watching a very large monkey try to challenge Einstein to a thinking contest.  The poor guy never stood a chance.

4:30AM – Fall asleep and gear up for day 2:  Carbon Leaf, Guster, Gaelic Storm, Great Big Sea…and more craps.

All in a day’s work…